Ever have one of those days when you’re forced to make a decision where you simply do not know what to do? You know what I mean, one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type situations? These are usually intensely personal and leaves us begging for someone to just tell us what to do. This could deal with the decision to file for divorce, moving across country, having to have an intervention with a loved one and other equally difficult situations where you have no choice but to act.
In these situations, how do you know what to do? How do you know which decision is the right decision? When both decisions point to something possibly “bad” happening, how the hell do we decide what to do?!
Unfortunately, I’m not here to answer that for you.
Unless we have a crystal ball, there’s no concrete proof that our decisions will be the “right” one but there are a few things we can consider before we make that choice. The good thing is that there really is no “right” or “wrong” decision, there’s just the best decision we could make at the time and that’s that. If we sit and consistently mull over the “what if’s” we’ll NEVER make a decision and be frozen in the midst of indecision and that’s akin to being stuck in limbo, you’re neither here nor there and so you just sit, frozen in fear.
Recently I had to make one of these decisions regarding a personal matter and as much as I really just wanted to sweep it under the carpet, it just wasn’t going to happen so I had to put on my big girl panties and figure out what I was going to do. Here’s what I did:
- I made a pros and cons list of each decision I could possibly make.
- I consulted friends for their opinions, not so that i could take the responsibility off of myself but to make sure I was seeing the situation in a 360 degree perspective and not blinded by my own emotions.
- I then tapped into my personal value system. Knowing what my priorities were in this situation, I began to formulate my decision. This is incredibly important to do because when you know what your values are, regardless of the decision you make, you know you responded in accordance to your heart AND mind and it is there that you can never go wrong! Don’t blindly make a decision and blame it on your values, REALLY look deep within yourself to find your intention in the situation. Is it to develop a relationship with someone? Is it to improve the life of you and/or your family? What is it that you really want the outcome to be and why? When you’re honest with yourself and know what your values are, you’ll be much better able to make the difficult decisions in life.
- Trust in yourself! This one can be hard because the last thing we want to do is make a decision that could potentially lead to diastrous results or cause us to, *gaps*, FAIL. But in all decisions you make, trust in yourself that you’ll be able to handle whatever outcome occurs with your decision. You are a much more capable person than you realize so it’s worth it to work on trusting yourself and your ability to handle life’s difficulties.
When I went through this process, I was able to make my decision. When you’re in a situation where there is no right or wrong answer, all you can do is the best that you can. The end result may not be the most desirable thing in the world but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure or a bad person, it doesn’t mean that your values are skewed, it just means that it didn’t work out and you can take what you learned into consideration the next time you have a similar decision to make.
When you make a decision basd on what you truly believe in you create integrity in your being and when you have integrity, there is no wrong answer. Trust in yourself to do what’s right and when you’ve made your decision, stick with it because you know it’s the best decision you could make given the circumstances.
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual so we just have to make do with what we’ve got and when you know what you’ve got (your values), you will always make the best decisions!