I’m often asked how it is that I lost over 100lbs. Everyone seems to think there’s a trick, a single tip that will cause them to lose a bajillion pounds in a week or so. This is one of the reasons I decided to become a coach; I just couldn’t answer them in one sentence! Of course I said I eat whole, clean foods and exercise on a regular basis, but obviously there was something I was doing that others weren’t. One of them was that I made this way of living a lifestyle, in other words I made it consistent, but the other was that I changed my mindset and analyzed my behaviour. I had to pinpoint what was making me behave the way I was and how it contributed to my current, overweight and unhappy lifestyle. Then I had to learn how to behave in a way that contributed to weight loss and a new way of living.
Below are 5 of the most effective behaviours/mindset changes I made to get the weight off and, more importantly, build a lifestyle that I’m proud of and consistently creates results in both my weight loss and in all other areas!
First thing I did was to really, truly, understand where the extra weight came from. Ask yourself “why” at least five times and be brutally honest with yourself. It may not be pretty but you MUST figure this out. I asked myself this and when I finally got down to it, I realized that it was because I made a choice. When I was in third grade I was teased for the first time for being chubby. At that time, I wasn’t actually fat but just kid chubby but I had two choices in how to handle it, a) I could have stood up for myself or talked to a parent or teacher or b) I could internalize it out of humiliation, not talk to anyone about it. I obviously chose the later way of dealing and that set me up on a Catch 22 spiral for the next two decades. I couldn’t escape my humiliation, I shoved it down but it popped back up through emotional eating. It was MY CHOICE. This was a hard pill to swallow because for years I blamed it on the kids that teased me for plummeting my self esteem, but it wasn’t them, it was how I decided to deal with it. Once I found the trigger I was able to work on a plan. My issue was that I dealt with my problems by using food so now I have to be an adult and learn to deal with problems in a more mature fashion.
Stop The Fat Talk
In fact, stop all the negative talk about yourself. It’s not doing you a favour other than perpetuating the idea to OTHERS that you’re fat and not worth anything. Yes this is hard, VERY HARD to do (I still catch myself) but there’s no reason to beat yourself up over every little thing. We are our own worst enemies. I do believe that before you start berating yourself for not losing 1lb think about how you’d treat your own children, spouse, family and friends. Treat yourself like you’d treat them. You’d NEVER let them beat themselves up for not losing a pound, would you? Next time you want to fat talk yourself, stop and think of that. This is your first step to befriending yourself.
It’s Your Choice
Remember that your eating and exercise habits are YOUR CHOICE. It’s not about willpower, it’s about how badly you want to change your life. Don’t let a cookie get the best of you, you want a cookie? Eat it because you deserve to eat it, because you CAN eat it, not because you somehow think you HAVE to eat. You don’t have to do anything. The cookie doesn’t talk, YOU talk. You tell that cookie where to go. It’s just a damned cookie. It contributes nothing to your life so don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is.
I can’t stress this enough. Weight comes on easily and can sometimes come off hard and slow. Yes, it’s frustrating but that’s why patience is a virtue, you have to struggle to get there! It’s not about the weight, it’s about setting your life up for automatic success. Make the right choices as often as possible and they’ll add up over time and reward you with weight loss, health, strength, longevity and happiness. Do small things to set this up daily and before you know it, it’ll be second nature!
Be Honest With Yourself
This is my number one tip of all. It wasn’t until I faced myself in the proverbial mirror and admitted my own responsibility that contributed to my weight gain and life that I began to change. You may end up finding out truths that you’re not too proud of but by conquering those truths you gain strength that you WILL be proud of. Be honest and then be kind. Again, think of yourself as your best friend and talk to yourself that way. You made mistakes, you hid behind food, but now what are you going to do to fix it? It’s OKAY that you made these mistakes! There’s nothing you can do to go back and change it, but what you can do is figure out how to fix it so focus on that instead of beating yourself up over what you did in the past. There’s no point in it in ruminating over it, it’s a waste of time.
Patience, treating yourself with kindness and brutal honesty are what worked for me. When I find myself on a plateau or missing workouts I stop and be honest with myself and work on improving from that very moment on.
If ANY of you need a friend after going through some of the above don’t hesitate to contact me. It can be a tough thing to do, facing yourself, but in the end you’ll come out of it being happier than you ever imagined and gain more success than you ever dreamed of!