Ever since Alan and I decided that 2013 would be the year that we wanted to start a family, I’ve had to re-asses my health goals. Although I’ve lost a hundred pounds, I’m not yet at my goal weight, I figure I have around 30 more pounds to go until I’m where I’d like to be. So the question remained: Do I continue to lose what I can until I get pregnant or do I put my weight loss on hold until after baby #1 comes along?
Originally I decided to act “as if” I wasn’t getting pregnant to see what how much I could lose and then when I got pregnant, I’d deal with it but within the last month or so I started to get uneasy over that. It seemed to conflict with my goal of wanting to get pregnant and so, after some soul-searching I decided, for the first time in six years, to stop losing weight. There’s no point in me losing all of that weight just to gain it back when I’m pregnant, I’m at a good weight where I won’t have to gain anymore so I might as well maintain and get ready for baby!
This has been WEIRD for me. I mean, it took me about five years to lose a hundred pounds and since last spring I’ve been working on the rest of it (which hasn’t been easy) so that’s five years of food tracking, habit formation, crazy calorie burns and the like. In fact, I don’t ever recall a time when I never felt like I “had” to lose weight. Now, for the first time, I’m giving myself permission to just hang where I am.
The funny thing is that when I sat down to figure out what changes needed to be made for me to maintain where I’m at, I realized that not much other than an increase in calories needs to change! This is because I’ve created a healthy lifestyle over these last six years and haven’t been dieting. I won’t stop journalling my food (I most likely will ALWAYS have to journal – oye, the joys of having a food problem), I won’t stop working out and I won’t stop eating well. The only thing that needs to change is that I’ll up my calories a bit (which I’m not complaining about)! The only focus now is making sure I’ve got all my vitamins and minerals, I’m taking my Folic Acid daily, working my body and generally being healthy so I can incubate my little alien and we’ll both be healthy and happy when the time comes.
It’s freeing, in a way, this decision. My whole life I’ve had my weight on my brain. Now I get to focus on something else – the health of me and future baby and when baby gets here I can kickstart my body again and focus on getting my body to where I want to be.
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